My 14th wedding anniversary is coming up, and I keep thinking how marriage should be calculated in dog years. 14 human years multiplied by 7 (dog years) is 98 years of marriage! And what is more romantic and inspiring than an old married couple? Some days, it feels like 98 years of devotion and gratitude, other days it feels like tolerance and long suffering. Love is either around every corner, or hiding in a corner waiting to be drawn back out.
I am just seven dog years away from being married as long as my parents were. I'm talking about my two biological parents who were married 15 years, or 105 dog years. Unfortunately, the last few years of their marriage were "ruff". We all suffered in our own way. And for better or for worse, I retreated into my own head. My quiet, introverted nature served as my solace. I found a favorite tree branch and sat on it for hours, alone but not lonely.
It was a Saturday morning, and my parents were gathering us together into the living room to tell us something. Being a sensitive twelve year old, I suspected it was about their divorce that seemed to be looming in the thick air. So, I turned the volume way up on the television set to drown out their voices. The show, The Jeffersons was on, and the theme song was playing, “We’re movin’ on up…movin’ on up, to the top…to the top…to a de-luxe apartment in the sky-yie-yie"....."We finally got a piece of the pie-yie-yie-yie".
Fortunately, these thoughts didn't repeat themselves (at least consciously) into my adult years. I daydreamed about marriage and family. I had no reservations when it came to marrying my beloved hubs. I was the happiest I had ever been, and I still blame him for everything good in my life. This is not to say I wasn't affected by the divorce because absolutely, I was. I am. And now, as a married adult with children, I am also aware of the tremendous emotional pain my parents must have felt.
The best and worst moments in my marriage have come from vulnerability. Could a good marriage be as simple as two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other? Hope so. Getting along can be hard, even for four hours in a row, but hey, in dog years that's a whole week!
I look forward to celebrating my old married couple status this year because really, I can't think of anything sweeter.
I am just seven dog years away from being married as long as my parents were. I'm talking about my two biological parents who were married 15 years, or 105 dog years. Unfortunately, the last few years of their marriage were "ruff". We all suffered in our own way. And for better or for worse, I retreated into my own head. My quiet, introverted nature served as my solace. I found a favorite tree branch and sat on it for hours, alone but not lonely.
It was a Saturday morning, and my parents were gathering us together into the living room to tell us something. Being a sensitive twelve year old, I suspected it was about their divorce that seemed to be looming in the thick air. So, I turned the volume way up on the television set to drown out their voices. The show, The Jeffersons was on, and the theme song was playing, “We’re movin’ on up…movin’ on up, to the top…to the top…to a de-luxe apartment in the sky-yie-yie"....."We finally got a piece of the pie-yie-yie-yie".
I held tears sore in my throat as I ran down the hallway back to my bedroom. I slammed the door behind me as loudly as I could, then, I buried myself under my yellow bedcovers. As I cried, I repeated the words into my pillow, “I am never getting married, I am never getting married, I am never getting married…..”.
Fortunately, these thoughts didn't repeat themselves (at least consciously) into my adult years. I daydreamed about marriage and family. I had no reservations when it came to marrying my beloved hubs. I was the happiest I had ever been, and I still blame him for everything good in my life. This is not to say I wasn't affected by the divorce because absolutely, I was. I am. And now, as a married adult with children, I am also aware of the tremendous emotional pain my parents must have felt.
The best and worst moments in my marriage have come from vulnerability. Could a good marriage be as simple as two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other? Hope so. Getting along can be hard, even for four hours in a row, but hey, in dog years that's a whole week!
I look forward to celebrating my old married couple status this year because really, I can't think of anything sweeter.
1 comment:
Happy Anniversary!!!!
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