warning, apology, I was in a mood

I’m grumpy.  Just grumpy.  My Christmas cards are sent (despite my weird anxiety-thank you Seinfeld nip slip episode), my kitchen is clean enough, my family is well and it’s even a good hair day.  But the licking sound from my gentle souled dog is annoying me, and who knew fish could make noise?  They are tapping their tanks.  When I get like this, I just want to hunker down beneath my bed sheets and ride it out.

Instead, tonight I decide to write.

Writing has been good for me lately.  I feel like I am shaping myself with words, typing myself whole.  I feel bold and transparent at the same time.  I’m emptying myself full, again and again.

Today is day three of my “no sugar till Christmas” plan.  The two boxes of Sees candy my husband brought home are taunting me from the other room.  I sit here with my green smoothie trying to fool my body with fruit sugar, but it’s giving me big time attitude the same way my kids do when I offer a banana for dessert.

Ironically, earlier today I was thinking about why we resist things that sound good.  For instance, the Target Red Card.  Why do so many people resist this?  5% off every purchase sounds really, really good.  One day, I was feeling trusting, informed and wise.  I took the leap.  I didn’t even mind that people were behind me in line because I imagined they were probably thinking I was quite brave.  I’ll get back to this later.

As I’m typing, I hear the movie Home Alone coming from the living room.  I am not going to resist this good movie moment with my son.

I’m back, he is on the ipad and it’s Home Alone 2. 

While I was up and about, I decided that resisting good things is silly, plus it’s Christmastime so I opened a box of Sees candy.  There was a bonus box of peppermint patties which are my favorite so I took it as a sign that my choice to not resist was the right one.  Well, the candies looked like they had travelled from Bhutan.  Shreds of chocolate fell out the sides as I opened the box.  Of course I ate it.  I was committed.

I checked my email before getting back to writing and I saw this message:  IMPORTANT INFORMATION FROM TARGET.  There has been a compromise in their Red Card security. 

It’s back under the bed sheets for me.