Sunday, December 22, 2013

something I never knew



One morning last week, my teenage daughter asked me to braid her ponytail in a special, new way.  It was just minutes before we needed to leave for school.  I bit my tongue instead of telling her we don’t have time for a braid.  I’m so glad I did because as soon as I ran the brush through her hair her whole body visibly relaxed, she exhaled and said, “Thanks Mom, there is something so comforting about you brushing my hair.”

It was a rich compliment to hear.  I thought about the thousands of times I have brushed her hair since she was a baby.  She was born with a full head of hair.  I’ve watched her fuss and resist this daily maintenance through the bathroom mirror for years.  I often felt like I was torturing her.  There were tangles that wouldn’t give then needed to be cut.  She was impatient when I blew her hair dry for special occasions.  I’d feel terrible, and drained sometimes.  I was tempted to give her a pixie haircut the way my Mom did for me (totally get it Mom!).  I never thought I was creating anything that would one day feel comforting. 

At this point in her life, I realize it is an honor to be asked to brush her hair.  She faces a battlefield of emotions everyday as a teenager.  To be invited into that sacred space with her is a gift.

The traditions from childhood can seem meaningless now that my kids are older.  But you never know what can feel like everything safe and pure to them.


No comments: