One morning last week, my teenage daughter asked me to braid
her ponytail in a special, new way. It was just
minutes before we needed to leave for school.
I bit my tongue instead of telling her we don’t have time for a braid. I’m so glad I did because as soon as I ran the brush through her hair
her whole body visibly relaxed, she exhaled and said, “Thanks Mom, there is
something so comforting about you brushing my hair.”
It was a rich compliment to hear. I thought about the thousands of times I have
brushed her hair since she was a baby.
She was born with a full head of hair.
I’ve watched her fuss and resist this daily maintenance through the
bathroom mirror for years. I often felt
like I was torturing her. There were
tangles that wouldn’t give then needed to be cut. She was impatient when I blew her hair dry
for special occasions. I’d feel terrible,
and drained sometimes. I was tempted to give her a pixie haircut the way my Mom
did for me (totally get it Mom!). I
never thought I was creating anything that would one day feel comforting.
At this point in her life, I realize it is an honor to be
asked to brush her hair. She faces a
battlefield of emotions everyday as a teenager. To be invited into that sacred space with her is a gift.
The traditions from childhood can seem meaningless now that my kids are
older. But you never know what can feel
like everything safe and pure to them.
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